Finding Light in Darkness-Memorial

These days, my pregnancy hormones are controlling my mood.  It is quite unpredictable what is going to make me either cry, become offended or angry, or simply beam in delight.  But ever since Friday, I can't stop thinking about what happened at that elementary school in Connecticut.  I'm sure it's been on your mind a lot too.

My oldest daughter is 5 and she is in a pre-k program in an elementary school.  It has been a joy to watch her so excited for school as she runs away from my car with her giant backpack on her back.  But behind that joy has entered a darkness that crept in last Friday.  All this time, I have been trusting that my daughter will be safe from harm.  Pulling away from the school this week has been a challenge.  Without thinking about it too much, I get teared up imagining what it must be like for all those parents of the 6 and 7 year olds.  One of the victim's parents described their daughter to the media and it sounded identical to my daughter.  When they dropped their precious child off at school that morning, they probably did their normal "Have a good day at school, sweetie."  Like me, they might have switched over their kid's cd (Goodbye "Dora's Fiesta"!) to some adult radio and breathed a sigh enjoying the first quiet moments.

My kiddos (and myself too) have been sick since Friday.  Our nights have been filled with coughing and playing musical beds.  I have felt so beaten down.  But this time, I have been sticking around a little longer for snuggles and kisses.  Despite all the tragedy, this event has truly shown how love really does come out in a magnitude force.  Whether we give our own kids a little more love, send out prayers for the families who lost their loved ones, or have actually sent donations or notes directly to those affected, there is love all surrounding the event.  It is my hope that even more positives may come out of this event (i.e. better gun policies, safety laws, etc) and that the families know that the whole world is grieving over this event along with them.

In solidarity,

Jen Starks, Owner
www.ecologicalbabies.com 
ecologicalbabies@gmail.com
 574.275.1235

Black Friday & Lessons in Simplicity

This post is particularly geared for those of you who are attempting to live a more simple life.  It's often challenging to work on a simple life around the holidays, while the rest of the world goes into a spending frenzy.

Ahh, the madness of Black Friday/Cyber Monday!!!  I must admit, last year I participated in Black Friday.  In previous years, I had avoided it like the plague, imagining elbows being thrown over some great "deal" and the air permeating greedy and desperation.  In an effort to avoid some of this, I shopped later in the morning and fortunately I don't pay attention to what's "hot" for the year.  My plan was to first make a list, then look at the sales online, then pick a couple stores I thought would have some items on my list on sale.

Honestly, the best part was that my husband was happy to watch the kids for half of the day while I was able to shop in peace...alone.  In addition, I enjoyed coming home to report that I had purchased many items off my list.  My favorite "score"  was my daughter's ice skates that she "had to have" at something like 30% off.

This year, I won't be participating and I'm not sure I will again. I'm absolutely not judging anyone who is going out this year.  I actually feel like some of my stereotypes about shoppers that day and all the hype has dissipated a bit, and now don't feel like I'm really missing out on anything. Good luck!

I am, however, intentionally avoiding these days to shop. I find two primary pitfalls of this whole "Black Friday/Cyber Monday" events.  First of all, I think we are often tempted to buy things just because they are such a good deal. I'm familiar with that initial feeling of that deal.  But do we really NEED this product?  By purchasing something you wouldn't have normally purchased, even if it is a good deal, you might end up spending more money overall. In addition, you have gained more possessions to clutter your home.  From a simplicity standpoint, making impulse purchases like these cloud our spiritual well-being.  Instead, we should be looking to purchase items intentionally for their usefulness or beauty in mind.  If you think back to impulse purchases you've made in the past, have you honestly used these items regularly?  Have any of these items been gathering dust in your cabinets, basements, or been sold off cheap in a yard sale? Maybe some have been winners, some not. How many broke after being used only a few times? My point is to try to encourage you to think ahead of what you really need and steer away from those impulse items.

My second issue is about how this "holiday" tends to corrupt our culture overall.  Do you think that supporting these box stores like Walmart who have these rock bottom prices, mandating that their employees come in on Thanksgiving, are really contributing to the better good?  When you are choosing to support businesses like this on these holidays, in encourages them to continue to do this.  In fact, next year they want to make more profit and will come up with a strategy to do so.  In the meantime, the small businesses who choose to stay home and be with family, who absolutely can't compete with those prices, and who value fair wages are the big losers.

What happens when we choose the box stores?  The Walmarts stick around (or abandon cities when they aren't making enough profit), and the small businesses close up shop.  Then those business owners whom you love to visit and know who you by your name (and love your precious little baby you are holding while shopping) will be something you remember that used to be around.  "Oh I loved that store."  "Oh the owner, Mary, was so sweet and friendly."  Can you think of some small businesses or boutiques you used to enjoy going inside?

Here's a scenario:  The box store's bakery is probably a couple dollars cheaper, tastes pretty good, and is open 24 hrs. It's an easy purchase, especially if you are shopping for other items in their store. Let me ask you this- Do you feel different when you walk inside your local bakery shop, breathe in the wonderful smells, and actually see the owner of that business greeting you with a smile on their face?  I know I do.  I sometimes walk out feeling a million dollars when I know I am supporting a specific person in my community who has put love into what they are producing and appreciates my business.

Have you also started to notice that the media and these big stores with huge marketing dollars are adding on days for shop in their store?  Now we have extended hours in the middle of the night and you now can come on Thursday, the actual day we have traditionally stayed home to give thanks with our family.  Those family members and friends of yours who work in retail might not be joining your family dinner soon, and might not be able to just relax and spend time with family.  What's next?  Is this going to become a week long event?  I've had a hard enough time going into stores with Christmas music playing and all the fall decorations taken down.  I was even in a store the day after Halloween and they were pushing Christmas already.  Sheesh!

Final thoughts on simplicity and the upcoming holiday (I know this has been lengthy!).  Please consider less "toys" and "stuff" for your kiddos this holiday. If you have fewer, high-quality items and also trying to pick ones that you know your kids will play with over and over again, this will make your holiday experience richer for your kids and you.  Your wallet (and budget) won't even know the difference.


Peace,

Jen Starks, Owner
www.ecologicalbabies.com 
ecologicalbabies@gmail.com
 574.275.1235

In the Beginning- Our Vision & You!

Today is the first day of this month when I'm sitting down to really contemplate the ways in which I'm truly grateful to have Ecological Babies in my life.  And it absolutely couldn't have become what it is today without customers I've met over the 4 years who support our mission and choose to support a local resource.

When I was pregnant, there weren't options locally where I could attend a workshop, talk to a cloth diapering friend, or have a private consultation where I could learn what I needed to know to get started with cloth diapers.  I couldn't recall bumping into any babies out in the community with fluffy bums because it wasn't common yet in Tallahassee.  Overwhelmed yet committed to the idea, I scoured the internet to learn about cloth diapers.  Instead of finding relief and feelings of empowerment (Yes, I can do this!), I was left with nightmares and even more confusion.

After my daughter was born 5 years ago, I knew I wanted to stay home with her full-time but would need a way to add some income and get out in the community.  (My local priest has coined me the "extrovert of all extroverts" -connecting to people feeds me spiritually.) The idea of Ecological Babies came to me when my daughter was young.  I wanted to be that live contact who could walk people through the process of getting started with cloth diapers.  In addition, I wanted to do something that promoted values important to me like social justice, simplicity, spirituality, and community.

Ecological Babies was a way to do this.  I am able to investigate companies I want to support and ask questions about their ethical choices.  I test out and decide which brands are quality and provide fair wages to their workers. I am able to educate out in the community at no charge as a way to promote environmental justice keeping thousands and thousands of disposable diapers out of the landfill.  Babies are healthier and more comfortable.  Families are saving thousands of dollars, meeting other like-minded families, and making more sustainable choices.  I love all of it!

Admittedly, it has been discouraging to learn about companies in China who are using current prototypes of American-made diapers, not testing their materials for lead, not providing fair working conditions, and producing a cheaper product to sell here.  Their skewed currency allows them to sell their diapers at a price American companies could never afford.  And I'm just so grateful for those in our community who are still choosing to vote with their wallet and support Ecological Babies.  Thank you for supporting us and also allowing us to support you!

There is not much more fulfilling to me than being able to be a part of my children's lives, while operating a business I believe is providing change for the good and allowing more families to make more sustainable choices in their lives.

Humbled,

Jen Starks, Owner
www.ecologicalbabies.com 
ecologicalbabies@gmail.com 
574.275.1235

Halloween Tales from Crunchy Mama

My Witches Brew (Jambalaya)!

Instead of focusing on all the Halloween candy my children are going to consume (already have consumed!) and all the wrongs of Halloween from a mom who primarily tries to focus on good health, today I am savoring that "sweet joy" (pun intended) my kids have over a holiday I have outgrown.  One of my favorite parts of motherhood is being able to enjoy events and places by watching my kids enjoy it...living through them.  It reminds me of our Disney trips and Christmas mornings.  I've found renewed enjoyment watching my kids captivated and entranced by all the excitement and mystery.

I'm wearing two hats today (actually 3 if you count my witch's hat!).  One- I want my kids to still be healthy and not just bouncing off the walls in excitement over sugar.  I've prepared healthy meals in between the sugar highs and am going to make sure they are bundled up for trick or treating (it's cold and rainy here).

The second hat is the one where I let things go and have fun with WITH them.  This is not always easy for me.  I get wrapped up in my "To Dos", meal preparation, cleaning, working, etc.  Today, we're having fun together and sharing memories.

Despite all the fun, I realized how normal making Halloween "greener".  I cringe at all those individually wrapped candies filling the trash cans (or blowing in the wind while trick or treating), all the chocolate that has been made from exploiting children , and expensive costumes only to be worn once.

Sometimes I am not conscious of the ways I've become accustomed to sustainable choices but here are some I can think of for this holiday:

1.  Second-hand costumes- Nope, I'm not mother of the year with a handmade and sewn outfit for each of my kids.

2.  We are re-gifting candy.  Unopened candy that for some reason makes its way into our house (especially suckers!).  My kids receive candy, I say we can have them later, and then they disappear into a bucket.  Now I have a bucket full of candy.

3.  Tonight's dinner is from the crockpot.  Not only does it use less energy, it makes dinner prep more manageable so I can focus on other activities and preparations, AND it's warm and healthy!

4.  Our kids reuse their little Easter baskets that are little market baskets made with fair labor practices.  I skip the plastic pumpkin and don't just designate the baskets for any holiday.  In fact, we often use it to collect "treasures" when we're on outings.

5.  Pumpkins-Instead of going big on the pumpkins, I've convinced my kids (ok, coerced a little!) that the medium sized pumpkins are the best and whatever one they pick, they have to be able to carry it from the patch to at least the hayride wagon.  Our pumpkins are from an organic farm I worked on (Bertrand Farm) which supports local sustainable agriculture and economy, while also providing us with some delicious pumpkins.  We'll be able to use these pumpkins for lots of recipes, which I've recently become a bit obsessed with since I've been pregnant.

Post Halloween:

1.  After Halloween, my responsible mama hat comes back on.  With the exception of a few favorites, their candy will leave the house.  There are 2 ways I am debating on doing this:
               A. Candy for the Troops- Some dentists collect candy and trade it for a prize or some small dollar  
                    amount.  Then the candy is shipped overseas for our troops. To find out if there is a dentist in
                    your area that participates in this, click here.
              B.  The Halloween Fairy- The kids put their candy out somewhere designated by you, and then in  
                    the morning there is a small gift (game/activity/toy) waiting for them. (I'm personally leaning
                    toward the one for the troops but can see how the fairy one could be fun)

While I think it is a great idea to not just focus on candy for Halloween, I still think this is the essence of the holiday.  When I think of my childhood, I am very fond of our trick or treating and sorting/trading candy after.  I am definitely going to make sure that treats and junk food is not the focus of other upcoming holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, and so on).  And if you hand out something besides candy this year, cheers to you!

Getting ready to watch "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown",

Jen   :)


Jen Starks, Owner
www.ecologicalbabies.com 
ecologicalbabies@gmail.com 
574.275.1235

Attachment Parenting: Birthday Parties & Instilling Gratitude

Well, I survived my daughter's 5th birthday party (see last post!).  We all had a great time with only a few minor glitches.  But there were some great memories being made and I know my daughter will remember her 5th birthday with many fond memories.

When I sent out the online invitations, I wanted to stress that gifts were optional. I knew of course that some would want to bring a gift anyhow, but I didn't want to make that a requirement for coming over to play and having fun.

Since I wanted that to be clear, I had also decided that we were going to skip opening any presents during the party.  That was one of the best decisions I think I made for the party for a number of reasons.  First of all (and most importantly), I didn't want anyone to feel badly about not bringing a gift, while my daughter ecstatically opened gifts from other friends.  Secondly, it is REALLY hard to watch someone open a ton of gifts when you arein the 2-5 years old range.  (Yes, she received a lot of gifts, despite my message.)  Thirdly, I didn't want Rita Clare to just rip through her gifts in a craze without really noticing who gave her what, and to also really enjoy or savor each gift.  As a parent, that is really not pleasant to witness in my own child. Finally, I didn't want that to be the focus of the party nor my daughter's primary focus.  

After the party was over, I was faced with another decision.  Do I let her open all her gifts at once or just a few at a time.  My husband just wanted her to get it over at once (especially since my 2 year old had to watch her open all these gifts).  But after opening a few, I realized that I wanted her to try to slow down for her own benefit.  We stopped and actually opened the packaging of the gifts and played with them for awhile together.  Perhaps I'm being too strict or holding back more of the thrill of tearing open gifts.

After the novelty wore out, she was ready for more.  I decided that this was an opportunity for her to learn a kesson in gratitude and patience, so I suggested that we make some "Thank You" cards before we opened more.  At first she wasn't thrilled.  But then once I told her that I would help her and that she was able to use her new markers, crayons, and stickers to decorate them, she was happily on board.

It was a great moment for us while we made these cards together.  I listed off some of the people whose gifts she'd opened and let her pick the card recipient.  She picked out the paper color while I described the gift that this particular person gave her.  In her card, she thought about the gift and that person and then drew them a picture on the front and inside. I wrote Thank You and a little note, while she signed her cute little 5 year old name on the back.  Once it was completed, I put them in an envelope and helped her mail them off.

I personally thought she gained more insight in receiving gifts and the thoughtfulness of each person who came to her birthday to bring her a present.  Funny enough, she still has some gifts sitting on the table waiting to be opened.  She's been able to draw out more of her birthday experience this way, and I have been personally proud of her enthusiasm and willingness to show gratitude to her friends and family.

Grateful,

Jen Starks, Owner
www.ecologicalbabies.com 
ecologicalbabies@gmail.com 
574.275.1235

My Other Life

In my other life, I am an oboe player. I used to say "was," and call it My Former Life. But over the last couple years there has been a shift. When I get to play, it really does feel like an "Other Life," though. I don't get to play very often anymore, and when I do, I get to be wholly "Claire." Not Mama, not Business Woman, not Wife, but Claire. I get to express myself, do something I love, and get totally lost in the present moment.

I went to college to study music. My goal was to become a concert musician. After finishing my bachelor's degree I continued on to graduate school, and received a Master of Music degree. I was pretty proud of myself, but realized, like most music majors eventually do, that it's not something you just go out and do after you finish school. It takes years of auditions, and can be pretty stressful.

So what did I do instead? I worked at a real estate closing office for a year, got laid off, started a pretty dreamy job working at a community theatre, then found out I was pregnant. Whoops.

Fast forward to now. I play with a pretty amazing community group called the Tallahassee Winds. Prior to this year, it was conducted by a former Dean of the College of Music at FSU who is known throughout the state as a stellar musician. He is now retired, but the group will now be led by two other great conductors from FSU. It may be an all volunteer community group, but it is truly great. We meet every Tuesday during the fall and spring semester, and have four concerts per season. I dearly look forward to each Tuesday evening. I'll never forget the first rehearsal I went to after coming back to the group after delivering my son. (I took off for the first concert of the fall.) Getting out my oboe was like seeing an old friend.

These days, my main music outlets are church gigs, especially at Christmas and Easter. I occasionally play with the Albany Symphony Orchestra in southwest Georgia. But my favorite oboe job is playing musicals. I LOVE playing musicals. It's such a fun atmosphere playing in a pit orchestra. You start out as a rag tag group of about a dozen musicians (ranging from advanced high school students to retired folks who still perform), and by the end of the run (which usually includes about five rehearsals and at least six performances) you've become friends. I love the challenge of playing in musicals. The tempo and meter constantly change, and you never know what will happen in each performance. Live music is so exciting!

I'm so thrilled that this month I get to be a part of the orchestra for the musical Les Miserables, a production of the Leon High School Performing Arts. The music is just gorgeous, and I get to play not just oboe but also English horn. The cast is made up of high school students, and they are doing a fantastic job. The orchestra is is all paid professionals, and even though we've only had one rehearsal so far, I can tell it's going to be a great show.

For the next six days, and then for three days next week, I get to leave home for four hours at a time to enjoy My Other Life. It used to be My Former Life, since for a while during that challenging first year of motherhood, I wondered if I'd ever get to play again. But I've found I need to seek it out. I need to MAKE time to play my oboe, because it's not just going to happen on its own. If I want opportunities to feel like I'm still a part of the musicians' life, I must put myself out there, and be on the look out for gigs. Sometimes I'm lucky and they fall in my lap, but that's certainly not the norm.

I think as mothers it is vital that we not lose touch with our Former/Other Selves. I believe that time to develop our own passions or hobbies outside of daily family and work life (even if you find it fulfilling and fabulous) is so important. It allows us to be multi-faceted, and expand our minds to more than they would be if our only focus was on family and work. The tired old anecdote of the "mother's emotional gas tank that needs to be filled" gets thrown around all the time, but I truly believe it to be true. Whatever your extracurricular of choice may be, I believe that we cannot possibly give to our families when we have not first given to ourselves.

When I visit My Other Life, I give myself music, and I am filled.

Claire Williamson,

Oboe/English horn player

Mother

Wife

Representative for Ecological Babies

claire@ecologicalbabies.com

Our 21 Day Challenge: Join us!

"When mom is happy, everyone is happy."  

This is particularly true in our house.  What about yours?  I love our family dynamic on days when I feel peaceful and happy...present.  I've come to realize that there are choices I make that contribute to my own unhappiness even when I think it is good at the moment....a bad habit.

Staying up too late.  If it is one thing I think that will improve my overall happiness, it would be getting to bed earlier.  Sure I want my free time at night and it feels good to finally have some peace and quiet after a crazy, loud day with the kids at home.  But going to bed at 11:30pm isn't gaining me peace when my kids wake me up every morning around 6:30am and I'm groaning as they ask me to help them start their day (getting dressed, breakfast, etc).  I want to wake up like Cinderella did every morning-singing and looking forward to the day.  (My daughter would be thrilled to hear me comparing myself to Cinderella, btw.)  Perhaps the day won't feel as much of a drag in the afternoon.  Hey, a girl can hope, right? :)


21 Days.  Apparently, it only takes 21 days of doing a new habit or breaking an old one to make it automatic.  I can't find the evidence that proves this is actually true but I am going to give it a try anyhow.  Starting May 1st, I am going to go to bed at 10:00pm.  Notice that I didn't say 9:30pm.  I want this to be a realistic goal for me.  If I went to sleep by 10:30pm, then I would still get 8 hours of sleep.  Of course, we are sometimes woken up by either of our 2 children at night, so this is not a flawless victory every night.  But it's a start.

After this 21 day challenge, I might start a new challenge in June to wake up at 6am to see if I can wake up before the kids.  Perhaps I will build on this and see more and more results.

YOUR TURN.

Do you have a bad habit you need to break or want to start a new challenge?

Perhaps you want to start meal planning for the week, try to incorporate more fitness into your life, pick up a hobby you used to love to do (knitting, sewing, scrapbooking, art, photography, etc), read more books to your kids, schedule regular mom's night out, anything.  Perhaps you want to stop eating processed food, yelling at your kids, overspending, eating out so much, watching too much tv.

Join me.  Join me these short 21 days and see whether you can get on track toward more intentional living, living on your terms.  What's needing a new direction? Do you need more steady days?

For those participating, we will journey together and check in on my blog from time to time.  Some call it accountability.  I say it's community building.  It's fun to know what others are doing and how it's going.  It also helps keep us thinking about our intention.

Write it down.  Think about it and put down in the comment section.  What's your goal for the 21 Day Challenge starting May 1st?  What's your reason for wanting this change?  Try to make it as specific as possible. For example, instead of saying "I want to get fit," try saying I will spend 30 minutes each morning around 9am and ride my bike.  21 days!

It's a commitment and a challenge.  Are you up for it?  We'll even have some fun goodies and giveaways for participants along the way!  Sign up below and join the fun.  Invite your friends & family too!

Peace & joy,

Jen Starks, Owner
www.ecologicalbabies.com 
ecologicalbabies@gmail.com 
574.275.1235

Bento Boxes!

As an on the go mom of a 3 1/2 year old boy, I am so excited to introduce a BRAND NEW product for Ecological Babies. Keepin' Fresh Kids Stainless Bento Boxes! If you thought all we carried was cloth diapers, you are in for a treat! Preschool moms, rejoice! Your boring snapware/tupperware days are over.

Check out the super cute pink one with little fishies! I'm no kid, but heck - I'd carry that in my lunch box any day.

The prints on the sleeve are super cute, without being cute-sy. They are kind of like a cross between old-school Pyrex and Japanese anime cartoons. You can choose

from alligators or little fishies, and the silicone seals are either pink (fishes), green, or blue (both with alligators).

The boxes are from Innobaby, and feature a stainless steel inner dish with a BPA free plastic sleeve that goes over it. The sleeve keeps the outside of the container at a steady temperature, so it is comfortable for the child to hold, regardless of the temperature of the food inside. They hold 15 ounces, which is plenty of space for a portion of pasta and protein, or even a sandwich with some chips or fruit on the side.

My favorite feature is the secure lid with silicone ring seal, which snaps on tight to create an air and liquid tight seal, keeping the child's lunchbox (or your tote bag) nice and clean, and the food nice and fresh. But unlike most snapware, the seals on this can actually be opened by a child! Here's my big boy, demonstrating how easy it is to open the box.

"Hey Mom! I really like the one with the alligators!"

If you're one of those fancy, crafty mamas with all the nifty little Bento accessories like tiny containers and toothpicks with cartoon faces on them, there is plenty of room for creativity. If you are looking for a little inspiration, no need to head to EBay for Bento accessories - think of things you already have in your kitchen.

In my experience, kids love variety of color and texture (but not too much or it's overwhelming), but they like it SEPARATE! Rule #1 of meal presentation in my house is - thy foods shalt not touch, and thy textures shalt not blend. Easy solution? Divided trays for meals, and foil and medicine cups for snack boxes. Fold up a piece of foil to double thickness and make it an L-shape, and it can contain softer foods like the strawberries here. A medicine dispensing cup is a perfect portion size of peanut butter or other dips, like hummus.

The boxes are just $16, and would be a perfect addition to rev up your child's lunch box or your trusty tote bag. They would also make an adorable (and practical!) gift to put in your child's Easter basket. Happy packing!

Claire Williamson, representative for Ecological Babies

(850) 228-8322

You can read more about the Innobaby bento lunch boxes here: http://www.ecologicalbabies.com/bento.htm

Anonymous Confessions

I was just thinking about how often we hide parts of ourselves from the world, especially when we hold ourselves to a high standard. As a mother, I am constantly holding myself to a standard I could never achieve.  If I could put down the top 3 things I often feel guilty about it would be:

1.  Showing my anger in front of my kids (especially when they push me to my limit).

2.  Allowing my children to watch shows and movies (even when it is a little bit, I feel guilty).

3.  Feeding my kids foods that are processed because I know they will eat it.

I'm not saying that we live out of boxed foods, that they watch tv all day long, or that I walk around my house yelling at my kids (not that I haven't had my share of those moments).  I feel it is important that I put myself out there for you and for myself.  Part of building a community is by allowing ourselves to show our weaknesses as well as our strengths.  I believe through our most vulnerable moments, we can deeply connect to others and be filled spiritually.

I want to start a regular blog post where we can post our guilt all in one place.  Let down your guard and take a real moment for yourself and for this community.  Through all our imperfections, we will see that we don't all have the answers and that we make similar mistakes.

These confessions can be related to motherhood, green living, spousal relationships, work relationships, personal failures or ANYTHING!  Post anonymously or post your identity, it doesn't matter.  All that matters is that you are real and you support each other.

Are you up for the challenge?

Peace and love,

Jen Starks, Owner www.ecologicalbabies.com ecologicalbabies@gmail.com574.275.1235

Are You in a (Committed) Relationship with Your Community?

This is topic I have been thinking a lot about recently.  Basically it boils down to "local business vs. seeking best deal" and having the convenience to either purchase an item online or all your goods in one store.  I believe both of these issues hurt local businesses.

1.  Seeking the best deal. I'm the first to admit that I like a good deal. Before I started Ecological Babies, I "enjoyed" shopping at local businesses but usually spent most of my money at a big box store like Target.  Local shops were "specialty" rather than my main source of products.  I didn't get to know the owners of these local businesses and my top priority was where I could get an item the cheapest.  I'm sure some of you can relate to that.

I'm hear to say that you are missing out on something even more awesome than saving a buck or two.  Local business owners are often amazing people who contribute their blood, sweat, and tears to the shop you enter.  (Yes, this can be also said for owners of local franchises.)  Supporting local businesses is like eating a meal from scratch verses prepackaged meals.  The experience (if done well) is much more satisfying.  Next time you step into a local business, I want you to think about the owner as a real person with a vision for their business.  Get to know them and ask them questions.  Then try it at another business.  Your sense of your community will be enriched beyond what you can imagine.

Do you want to know a secret?  If you stay connected to your local community, you will also snag a lot of good deals.  You might even find that you'd rather buy a quality item at your local shop than a cheap item at a box store that is half the price but will be destroyed in half the time.  We have deals going on that are featured on our Facebook page.  This month we even are offering free shipping.

2. Convenience.  When you live in a place like South Bend, Indiana (where I am currently living and originally from), the selection and options seem limited both in local businesses and box stores. The culture in this town is to shop online for most goods and to scour for free shipping.  It's unfortunate that businesses have come and gone very quickly here because the members of the community don't seek out what is available here.   Fortunately, many local businesses (like us!) are also online to make shopping more convenient and accessible to you.

Our American culture is infatuated with "convenience" and often we are going out of our way for something "convenient."  Take "fast food" for instance. How many times have we sat in a really slow line for this junk food?  Do you have items in your cupboard or refrigerator that you could have put in a small cooler or bag and eaten?  It's not about convenience but a solution to poor planning.  I'm the first to admit that I get caught without a solid plan.  It happens!

Now, I'd rather save up my money and have a much more enjoyable (and healthy!) meal at a local restaurant than a couple runs through a "fast food" joint.  It's more special too, since it is an intentional act rather than feeding a starving belly (and cranky mom/dad/child!) on the run.  Don't you think?

What's your relationship like with your community?  Are you just getting to know it?  How many business owners do you know personally?

Peace,

Jen

Jen Starks, Owner www.ecologicalbabies.comecologicalbabies@gmail.com574.275.1235

Building a legacy

Every year in February, I start thinking about "what I will give up for Lent." It's almost like a school assignment - a book report for which I need to choose a book, an essay for which I need a subject. If I am truly seeking to give something up in the spirit of a fast, this is hardly the attitude to take. So I have decided this year to do something different. Rather than give something up, I'm going to do something extra. I know, that's not exactly a Lenten sacrifice, but personally I think it is still in the proper spirit because it will cause me to be more mindful of my actions and affect positive change.


My intention (and I realize to some this may sound silly) is to give up electronic documentation for the next 40 days in exchange for something more permanent. Hear me out - when was the last time you updated your Facebook status? Or when did you last make an album of pictures on Facebook or Picasa? Ok, now when did you last write in your baby book? Or journal? When was the last time you printed out pictures to make a real photo album or scrapbook?


Many of my friends are giving up Facebook for Lent, and I think that is an admirable goal. However, I enjoy keeping up with my friends socially, and I also use social media for work. I think you can still use social media as a means to socialize, so long as it doesn't become your sole means of communication and interaction. You just can't beat a good phone conversation, and a hand-written note, although almost obsolete these days, is such a powerful message of friendship and love. I have a big box in my closet of notes and greeting cards from family and friends, and I really enjoy looking through it from time to time. It makes me feel more connected to others in my life story, and reminds me of those I with whom I could stand to re-establish communication.


Everyday, I choose to document my life on the internet, and lately I have felt convicted of how fleeting that is. A few weeks ago, my mom sent Grant the most precious gift. A spiral bound book of thoughts she had typed out for him, emails between she and I that she printed out, and pictures. Yes, I know it is good to avoid having tons of things on paper, and we need to conserve resources. But that's not what I'm talking about. What would you rather give to your child when you are 60 and he is 35? A journal with little stories, even one line "status updates," and photographs, or a flash drive? My son LOVES to sit down and look through photo albums with me, and I'm not talking about the ones you click through. We are told by the experts to avoid screen time for children, so shouldn't we be preserving their life in a more tangible way, too? If the only place I journal or display pictures is on Facebook, what will I have left to show one day? What kind of legacy will that leave?


So here is my plan - for the next 40 days, when I get inspired to share a story, observation, or funny thing my son said, I'm going to write it down. Maybe in Grant's baby book, or maybe in my journal I have written in exactly one time that has been living in my bedside table drawer for four years. I think it's time to dust it off and buy a nice pen.


How do you document your child's life? Are you giving up something for Lent, or doing something else to affect positive change in your life? What kind of legacy do you want to leave for your children?


Blessings and love,

Claire Williamson
claire@ecologicalbabies.com

Whole Foods Market Coming! (to Mishawaka, IN)

I had heard through the grapevine that Whole Foods is coming to the Michiana but officially saw it on the news today.  Honestly, I'm pretty thrilled even though I recognize there are some cons.  The Michiana area has been needing a grocery store like this as there is nothing like this.  It drives me nuts that when I tell people I try to purchase organic produce, dairy, and meats, it is assumed I'm wasting my money paying on something premium.  Needless to say, organic is seen as a "specialty" item seen in the elite grocery stores and only those who can afford to pay more.

Bringing Whole Foods here is going to be great opportunity for the community.  It's going to build our "sustainable" living community up and offer a much wider selection of goods where people had to drive to Chicago or Indianapolis to find.  Perhaps it will do so well that other businesses will want to come here too.

Do you have a Whole Foods Market in your area?  What's been your experience with it?

Peace,

Jen Starks, Owner


 www.ecologicalbabies.com, www.facebook.com/ecologicababiesllc,  ecologicalbabies@gmail.com

Creating Time by Doing Less

I have the tendency to overfill my schedule. I've worked hard these last couple years to scale back because a "fried" mom is not a good mom.  I know it's been an overbooked day when my house is a mess, I have take out packaging from a meal we had to eat on the fly, and all I want to do is just veg out after the kids are down.  Sound familiar?

Yesterday evening, I had planned on going to our town's "Shiver by the River" festival.  I had it all mapped out on what to see and at what time.  We'd be drinking hot chocolate, riding the trolley, watching ice carvers, listening to a jazz group, eating some spicy food, and enjoy watching the ice skaters having fun.  These were all evening activities.

Once we had sat down at the dinner table, it was clear that my "big plans" were probably not going to work out like I had planned.  Brian had come home late, Rita Clare kept dodging her dinner and trying to duck under the table (her new hiding spot these days), and I was starting to get grumpy.  Instead of fighting Rita Clare to eat her dinner so we could go and pushing Brian into changing out of his work clothes so we could head out, I (well, Brian and I) decided it would be best if I just took Tyler.

We had a ball.  I knew that I wouldn't be doing nearly as much as I plotted out and accepted this change.  In fact, I embraced it.  Instead of locking him into a stroller and making sure we did everything, I planned for him to walk at his pace and just enjoy our time together.  I became present to our moments, instead of sticking to a plan.  So simple, yet sometimes so challenging for me.

We shared hot chocolate at our South Bend Chocoloate Company.  Yes, it was absolutely delicious!

Then we happened to be near a trolley stop and took a ride to where the ice sculptures were being displayed.  This was definitely a highlight for Tyler who's recent favorite song is "The Wheels on the Bus".  He kept saying "Weeeee!" I love how it brought joy to all those around us.

After our final trolley ride back from the display, we headed back to the car.  Nothing too big, yet it was about an hour and a half of great quality time.  With 2 small kids in tow, I have to make it a priority to spend one-on-one time with each of them at least weekly.  With Rita Clare now at home more often, I've been trying for good daily time.  It helps both of us to connect.

Have you had some quality moments lately?  We'd love to hear them!

Jen Starks, Owner www.ecologicalbabies.com , ecologicalbabies@gmail.com 574.275.1235

Mom's Time Out Fall Market: The Place to Shop!

Whether you're ready to do some early holiday shopping or ready to enjoy the beautiful weather this time of year, our Mom's Time Out event is definitely the place to be.  I don't know any other event where I'm supporting both local businesses AND mom-run operations AND building community like our markets. I guarantee you won't find anyone asking you to sign up for a credit card, sell you an inflated cheap item, or encounter a rude face behind the booth.  Our event is fun in spirit and the positive energy is a breath of fresh air.

So come out to Earth Fare tomorrow and we promise a great time!

Peace,

Jen Starks
MTO Member and Co-Founder


Jen Starks, Owner www.ecologicalbabies.com ecologicalbabies@gmail.com 574.275.1235

Starting a Babysitting Co-op!

A great idea for saving some money is to find a group of friends with whom you can start a babysitting co-op.  It's very simple to do and will save on childcare and the stress of bringing your kids to the grocery store. Who wouldn't enjoy more date nights? This works for families with parents at home or working out of the home because it works around your schedule!

Here's how it works:

-Gather a group of friends for your initial meeting.
-Give each person a coupon book of 30 coupons.
-Each coupon is worth 1 hours of child care, and this was how you pay each other.
-The Co-op can be used to grocery shop, clean house, or have an evening out (or you can come up with your own agreed upon rules).
-Members are free to specify if they wanted to baby-sit during the daytime, evening, or weekends.
-One could always say "no" on an occasion that wasn't convenient.
-Have a once-in-a-while meeting meeting to meet new members and keep up with how many coupons members have accumulated.

I know Claire on our team and some of my good friends are currently in a babysitting co-op.  I'd love to hear their insight and feedback!

Peace,

Jen


Jen Starks, Owner www.ecologicalbabies.com ecologicalbabies@gmail.com 574.275.1235

Reflections & Resolutions

What a busy year for us!  We went from launching our natural parenting products to adding a new location, and even hiring Claire Williamson.  I have to admit, having Claire on board our team has been a highlight. Partnering with others really helps bring in fresh new ideas and discussions!  Of course, Ecological Babies would absolutely not be operating if it weren't for my amazingly talented web designer, Liz Buzone.  Thank you Liz for ALL that you do!!!


Every year on our birthday, I like to do a little "R & R".  Nope, not rest and relax!  Rather, I like to see the day as the beginning of a new year and reflect & develop some resolutions.  It's time for planning and improving and going back through our notes when we first developed our mission.  


Here's some of the key points in my notes of what I originally wanted integrated into our mission:
-Creating value through our products & education.
-Developing relationships with those that we serve and work with in the community.
-Desire to serve society rather than exploit. Something many big box stores don't embrace.
-For me to be able gain balance and peace within my self and help others too.
-Promoting simplicity, social justice, community, and spirituality. These are values that stem from a volunteer year I spent with the Jesuit Volunteer Corp (JVC).  Spirituality in the sense of connecting people to each other and their environment, whatever beliefs you may have.
-For me to gain autonomy to be home raising my children.  


In reflecting on ways I believe we can improve, I've come up with a short list that will sound a bit vague.  But as I continue to dwell on these topics, I'll put more details into motion. Most of all, I'd love your feedback!


Ways of Improvement:
-More education.  I'd like to offer more discussions on topics related to cloth diapers to offer more support and guidance. In addition, I want to become more a resource on other topics related to our mission: natural parenting, attachment parenting, simplicity, community building, etc.  
-Faster Shipping.  I have to be honest.  Right now, it's an effort to ship out orders.  I want to become more efficient to minimize efforts and costs, and to be able to ship within 24 hours.
-Quicker Follow up.  We want to offer as much support to you as possible.  You should expect us to return your message or reply by email within 24 hours at the latest. 
-Find more ways to build community.  Since we're home-based, our main presence is online.  And while we can connect online to many people at once, we can connect better when we are physically with people.  We want to provide more opportunities where like-minded families can get together.  When you have small children, you can become limited in your ability to meet people you'd really connect with.  We want to help orchestrate that!
-Have more presence in hospitals, day cares, and other places where consumers can learn more about cloth diapers.  We want nurses excited about cloth diapers, day cares to be more eco-friendly and open to accepting cloth diapers.  If they won't come to us, we'll just have to come to them!!!  :o)
-Give back more to the community.  We're talking charity events, donations, volunteering.  We're all in this together, right? 


Like I said, I REALLY want to hear from you and your experience with us.  What can we be doing better or already doing well?  You can even post anonymously! Please don't make me beg! 


Thank you to all that we have met with this year.  You make us a success and keep our mission going in your community.


Peace and lots of love,


Jen


Jen Starks, Owner www.ecologicalbabies.com ecologicalbabies@gmail.com 574.275.1235

Becoming a Community Insider

Last night, I realized something important about me.  Where ever I am (whether I'm just visiting or permanently living there), I need to feel connected to that community.  I seek out local establishments, local residents, and attempt to learn what it's like on the inside.  Perhaps call it an immersion experience! It wasn't until last night that I began to understand why.

Growing up, I was not connected at all to my community nor did I understand its significance.  In fact, I hardly paid attention to local, national,or international news, remaining in a little protected bubble.  Many people might say that is good for kids and I definitely agree to a certain extent.  I agree that children (nor us as adults really!) should not be exposed to violence. But I believe there are limitations of protection that hinder their chance at growing connecting to their "real" community that has some unfortunate circumstances.

For example, people who are homeless or poor in their community.  I personally believe that allowing our children to experience interactions and relationships with those experiencing hardship is beneficial to our children, to the disadvantaged person, and even to the community.  How many of us are honestly intimidated by the person asking for money on the sidewalk and act as though they are invisible?  I want my children to know these are people, just like us in many ways, people deserving respect and need love too.  They too are part of our community and because we are more advantaged, we need to help those currently living with a disadvantage as often as we can.  More about this another time though....I want to come back to my original topic of community living.

It wasn't until I volunteered a year of my life with the Jesuit Volunteer Corps where our life was completely immersed in the community that I experienced what it was like to be a part of a real community.  I now know belonging to a community is a spiritual experience that feeds our soul in ways unimaginable.  It provides a sense of connectedness to those around us, a sense of belonging which is a biological need.  I also feel more grounded to know local people that I can trust and to know what events are going on around me.  Each community is authentic in its own way.

In some ways, this goes coincides with the current local movement.  The government is advocating this movement with the economy as it's main angle. I obviously believe supporting locally goes much deeper than that.  In some ways, I believe I'm connected more to the "slow food" movement.  It's about learning about local farms, what's in season, and developing a connection with nature. I yearn for the fresh organic produce from my local farmer stand as those it is going out for ice cream. It sounds ridiculous to say it that way, especially since I could never imagine as a child ever thinking this as an adult!

Well, we just moved recently and at first it was difficult, being an outsider of this community.  It was a bit lonely.  But it has also been really exciting as though I'm on a treasure hunt.  And I can feel my sense of grounding starting to take root as relationships are forming.

How about you?  Where's your community and do you feel connected to it?  Where have you "rooted" yourself in it and feel that spiritual sense of belonging?

If you don't feel connected, why?  Where would you like to become closer to your community?

I would love to hear about "your" community!

Peace and love,

Jen


Jen Starks, Owner www.ecologicalbabies.com ecologicalbabies@gmail.com 574.275.1235

Ecological Babies' Top 3 Recommended Events this Weekend!

Here are our top 3 recommendations for this weekend:

1.  Tour of Gardens (Maclay Gardens)- Saturday from 10-5pm.
www.floridastateparks.org/maclaygardens

2. Healthy Mama, Healthy Baby 5k Walk/Bike/Run- 10:30-1:30pm
https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=204666349557430

3.Prophecy School of the Arts' Annual Student Showcase
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=222243817790040


Jen Starks, Owner www.ecologicalbabies.com ecologicalbabies@gmail.com 850.284.5887

Ecological Babies' Top 3 Recommended Events this Weekend!

Hopefully the weather will continue to be as beautiful as it has been these past few days.  If so, I know we'll be outside as much as possible savoring these last few days before the heat sets in.  Don't forget sunscreen!


Sat:
Tallahassee Downtown Book Fair- 9:30-2pm
-This event supports our local library book sale, features local authors and musicians, has food and sounds like a wonderful day outside in our community.
For more details:http://www.leoncountyfl.gov/library/friendsofthelibrary/images/2011/BookFair2011Promo.pdf

Kidsfest at the Fairgrounds- 10am-4pm
-A fundraiser for Kids Incorporated, this is a great family event.  It has kids activities, live performances, lots of tables of local businesses, and a great way to meet other families.
For more information: http://www.kidsincorporated.org/attachments/065_Kidsfest%20flyer.pdf

Blue Crab Festival in Panacea- 10am-9pm
-Our family attended this festival last year and had a pretty good time.  It's a little bit of a drive, so I recommend bringing a picnic blanket, some of your own snack food, and devote a solid chunk of time there.  They have live music, bounce houses, kids activities, vendors, and a lot of food.  The food, however, is a bit like our festivals downtown-a lot of grease.  BUT the seafood is excellent.  Be prepared to spend some money on the food.  I also love that it's located right on the coast with a beautiful view.


For more details:
http://www.bluecrabfest.com/
http://www.tallahasseegrapevine.com/event/view/id_3354/

What's on your agenda this weekend?


Jen Starks, Owner www.ecologicalbabies.com ecologicalbabies@gmail.com 850.284.5887

Counting My Blessings!

I can honestly say that this week hasn't gone as smooth as last week. Brian just finished up his faculty position on Sunday.  Oddly enough, having Brian home has been a bit of an adjustment period. Who's doing what, when and who's going to tackle some extra time with the kids.  Our balanced has been thrown off.  But like any new adjustment, we get through it and find our rhythm again.

When I get caught up in some of the trials of the day, I often lose sight on what's really important on a grander scale and just how good I really have it in my life.  Today, I'm going to stop and write down some of my greatest moments today I was gifted.  Life is truly good once I can pull away and admire it's beauty.

1.  My son, Tyler, is source of much love and joy in our family.  Today, he was on a kick of going to each family member (and a visiting stranger!) and giving kisses.  He particularly loved giving kisses to my daughter and seeing their growing relationship makes my heart swell.  Sigh!

2.  Rita Clare's sense of self-assurance and maturity astounds me.  For a 3 year old, she understands more about the world and just needs a few extra skills to keep up with the confidence that she can do it all.  The other day, I had the WORST experience ever as a mom.  My keys got locked in the car with both my kids inside.  Yep!  I can feel my heart beating faster just thinking of the situation.  First I called my husband in a panic and told him to rush to me (I was at home).  Then as I'm trying to explain to RC what happened, I decided to try and see whether she could unlock her seat belt.  My first instinct was, "Wait, I don't want her to know how to do this!"  But we calmly walked through it and she DID it!.  I was so proud of her.  She saved me!

3..  My husband surprised me with delivered flowers as an early Mother's Day sentiment.  It stopped me dead in my funky mindset and I couldn't help but recognize how lucky I am that I'm in a great marriage.  We have our stumbling blocks but I'm so grateful for a good life partner who sometimes is a bigger believer in me than myself.

3.  I'm so grateful that I live somewhere that I have access to all the things important to me: clean water, fresh food, a safe community, great preventative-minded family doctor, freedom to live a life of autonomy, kid's nights at restaurants :o), and supportive/unconditional love from friends.  

I have a million more but these are the top tier.  What are some of your blessings today?

Jen Starks, Owner www.ecologicalbabies.com ecologicalbabies@gmail.com 850.284.5887