Monday, December 31, 2012

New Beginnings in 2013

In most years past, I make a list of all the ways I want to improve for the upcoming year.  They usually land in my journal, so I can look back on at least a couple years prior and compare.  I'm always shocked to find how similar they are in nature and wonder whether I'll be better this year at keeping to my goals.

In 2012, I did an experiment where I tried to work on one thing I wanted to improve for 21 Days.  You can find it here.  I did find longer last results in attempting to change my unwanted behavior.  This year, however, I am looking at New Year's Resolutions in a new light.  Rather than change, I want to accept my limitations and instead work on being more "present".  Awareness in an active sense and acceptance in hope that I will not put myself in control of all situations.  I think this will bring about more optimism rather than criticism into my life.

When I was preparing for the birth of my son, Tyler, I went through hypno-birthing classes and training.  It was all about trusting in myself and letting go of the control (something that would have been very beneficial for my oldest child's birth!).  When things would get tough, I would work on relaxing my body and being aware that my body was doing what it needed to be doing at that exact moment.

After Tyler was born, that concept was tucked away with my childbirth books. My goal was to feel like I was "making it" rather than "surviving" having 2 kids.  I wanted to have it all together and enjoy this period in our lives.  As a result, I came down hard on myself and my family when we'd sit in the mornings and watch TV.  In the other rooms, piles of laundry and stacks of dishes were waiting to be attended to.  Ugh! I felt like saying that for the first 6 months, as I adjusted and kept telling myself to push through and work harder.

With our upcoming baby due late April, I am embracing the approach of my wise hypnobirthing classes.  I'm fooling myself when I really think I can control everything to make it work.  I have limitations and my high expectations set me up for disappointment.  Not to mention the added pressure it puts on my family!

So, I'm going to work on going with the flow, accepting (not settling or complaining about) what life brings my way, and am going to be fully present.  I guess it's a way of reprioritizing and becoming a bit more wise from past experiences.  The "have to's" will be put on the shelf this year.  I am hopeful that this will bring more joy into our home and definitely more silliness.  It's a new adventure carrying no expectations along with it.  :)

Peace and happy new year,


Jen Starks, Owner 

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