These last couple weeks, I've been trying to work on my tendency to over control my 3 y.o. and being more patient. Somehow, I've come to micromanage her life more than I should and it has been taking its toll on both of us. With her unpredictable nature of wanting to do what she wants to do (sometimes at the expense of others' well-being), I struggle between letting things "play out" vs "protecting" the other person.
Perhaps it went up a few notches when my son was first born. I literally feared his life everyday and instinctively wanted to protect him from her. For the most part, it wasn't maliciousness but rather loving or playing too hard on him. :o) I'm grateful to be past those early days of that.
With my intention to let go a bit, I've definitely noticed an improvement in Rita Clare and my relationship. I'm trying to trust her choices and "talk it out" more. I've been trying to say "yes" more too.
Yesterday, I had 2 proud mama moments. Rita Clare invited me to music time at her preschool. At one point, the leading teacher asked RC whether she wanted to come up to the front and sing me a song. Without a hesitation, she went to the front of all the school. She picked Twinkle, Twinkle and sang loud and proud. Even though I felt embarrassed with everyone looking at me, I couldn't help but get misty. It was definitely a moment I'll always remember. My love was absolutely pouring out of me. After the song, one of her teachers told how great she had been doing the last couple weeks at school. Maybe it was partially from our improved relationship. Maybe not! Nonetheless, I was beaming. :o)
THEN, Tyler and I were eating some lunch together. I've recently been eating a bunch of beets and had them available to eat at the table. Tyler leaned in and signaled he wanted some too. He devoured it and on the inside, I was doing a happy dance. OK, so I might have did a happy dance during it too! ;o) But I caught it on video and it just warms my heart to watch him eat so well....and with character. I attached it, if you want to join in the moment!
Loving being a mama,
Jen Starks, Owner www.ecologicalbabies.com firstname.lastname@example.org 850.284.5887