Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Letting Go

These last couple weeks, I've been trying to work on my tendency to over control my 3 y.o. and being more patient.  Somehow, I've come to micromanage her life more than I should and it has been taking its toll on both of us.  With her unpredictable nature of wanting to do what she wants to do (sometimes at the expense of others' well-being), I struggle between letting things "play out" vs "protecting" the other person.

Perhaps it went up a few notches when my son was first born.  I literally feared his life everyday and instinctively wanted to protect him from her.  For the most part, it wasn't maliciousness but rather loving or playing too hard on him.  :o) I'm grateful to be past those early days of that.

With my intention to let go a bit, I've definitely noticed an improvement in Rita Clare and my relationship.  I'm trying to trust her choices and "talk it out" more.  I've been trying to say "yes" more too.

Yesterday, I had 2 proud mama moments.  Rita Clare invited me to music time at her preschool. At one point, the leading teacher asked RC whether she wanted to come up to the front and sing me a song.  Without a hesitation, she went to the front of all the school.  She picked Twinkle, Twinkle and sang loud and proud.  Even though I felt embarrassed with everyone looking at me, I couldn't help but get misty.  It was definitely a moment I'll always remember.  My love was absolutely pouring out of me.  After the song, one of her teachers told how great she had been doing the last couple weeks at school.  Maybe it was partially from our improved relationship.  Maybe not!  Nonetheless, I was beaming.  :o)

THEN, Tyler and I were eating some lunch together.  I've recently been eating a bunch of beets and had them available to eat at the table.  Tyler leaned in and signaled he wanted some too.  He devoured it and on the inside, I was doing a happy dance.  OK, so I might have did a happy dance during it too! ;o)  But I caught it on video and it just warms my heart to watch him eat so well....and with character.  I attached it, if you want to join in the moment!

Loving being a mama,


Jen Starks, Owner www.ecologicalbabies.com ecologicalbabies@gmail.com 850.284.5887


Maureen said...

I love reading these posts... As I said, I think it is so hard to be an AP mama, with best intentions for your children, and have other kids, too. My Claire is insanely free spirited, and when I read other AP mama's experiences or see them out, I think-that is not my child!! WHY!?! I want her to be the happy well behaved little baby she was... and I think I harp on that too much, also. While I haven't publicly posted this issue in my life (for no particular reason), I thank you for posting parenting struggles... Thanks!

Holly Galotti said...

Tyler is SO cute chowing down on that beet! How did you prepare them? I tried roasting some but couldn't get them nice and soft.

Anonymous said...

Maureen-Thanks for your comment! I'll never claim to be "super mom" but give it my best shot at being real. :o)

Anonymous said...

Holly-I think I tried boiling them this time, since it helps the skin peel off easily. But honestly, my favorite way is to peel them, slice them, and then steam it. Then I know it will be tender all the way through and the nutrients aren't all in the water.

Lisa said...

Aww! I am tearing up reading about RC singing to you. What an amazing moment. :)

Monica said...

YAY! Tyler eating that beet is so adorable! I'll have to see if Eli might be interested in those :)