I'm adjusting my blog to merge both my personal and professional lives together. After all, they are both interwoven into my every day life and make me who I am. I've realized that I'd like this blog to be for me, an extension of my self, a place for me to process and share. Honestly though, I'm a big nervous about the whole thing. I was raised a private person and showing my vulnerable side isn't something that comes easy to me.
I'm the first to admit that I do not qualify as an expert in motherhood, nor do I think I have all the answers. My goal is to stay open-minded, to look for opportunities to grow, and to give it my personal best. My natural tendencies, however, don't always keep me in that space.
So with that all in mind, my goal is to remain real to myself and anyone who might read this. To kick off the new direction, I'm going to start with a few confessions to get my feet wet. Ok, here it goes:
Confession 1 (this one is weighing on me the most): I'm torn about what to do about shaving. For the first time, I've made the personal choice to skip shaving my body. My upbringing screams, "hide it, shave it now b/c you've started wearing tank tops again." But something inside me has changed. I've never felt so liberated! I'm fascinated at how I look, enjoy not having to keep it up, and feel more true to whom I am. SO, I'm torn whether to shave and make it a seasonal thing OR go with it and say "screw 'em" to those who judge and scoff.
Whew! That felt good to say, although I still haven't published it (if you're reading this, I've decided to do it!).
Confession 2: I have NO idea how to prepare meals for my family every night of the week. I was raised on processed convenient foods and I just can't keep it up everyday. I've come A LONG way since having Rita Clare but am baffled by those who can. I simply can't manage all of life's demands AND get dinner served every night. Somedays, I literally have a child on or next to me all day. Sure I can manage some dinner preparations with them. But often, I'm chopping veggies with a child either wanting to eat something in the kitchen, wanting to constantly help (which is actually fun when I'm in the right mindset), or to be held (wearing as a backpack doesn't always work). Then there's the challenge of feeding both kids whom may or may not want to eat what I've prepared, and the clean up effort. I'm exhausted just thinking about all that. SO, you'll find me a kid's night at Moe's and often at Earth Fare's kids night. I'm not proud nor am I hiding. I embrace having a day off or two from cooking, so I can focus on other important things in our lives too. Accepting it frees me from mama guilt, which cripples me and brings in unnecessary anxiety/stress. Do I think I can do better? You betcha!
Cheers to all of you mamas who have it together today,
Jen Starks, Owner www.ecologicalbabies.com firstname.lastname@example.org 850.284.5887