Wednesday, February 23, 2011

New Intention

New Intention
I'm adjusting my blog to merge both my personal and professional lives together.  After all, they are both interwoven into my every day life and make me who I am.  I've realized that I'd like this blog to be for me, an extension of my self, a place for me to process and share.  Honestly though, I'm a big nervous about the whole thing.  I was raised a private person and showing my vulnerable side isn't something that comes easy to me.

I'm the first to admit that I do not qualify as an expert in motherhood, nor do I think I have all the answers.  My goal is to stay open-minded, to look for opportunities to grow, and to give it my personal best.  My natural tendencies, however, don't always keep me in that space.

So with that all in mind, my goal is to remain real to myself and anyone who might read this.  To kick off the new direction, I'm going to start with a few confessions to get my feet wet.  Ok, here it goes:

Confession 1 (this one is weighing on me the most):  I'm torn about what to do about shaving.  For the first time, I've made the personal choice to skip shaving my body.  My upbringing screams, "hide it, shave it now b/c you've started wearing tank tops again."  But something inside me has changed.  I've never felt so liberated!  I'm fascinated at how I look, enjoy not having to keep it up, and feel more true to whom I am.  SO, I'm torn whether to shave and make it a seasonal thing OR go with it and say "screw 'em" to those who judge and scoff.

Whew!  That felt good to say, although I still haven't published it (if you're reading this, I've decided to do it!).

Confession 2: I have NO idea how to prepare meals for my family every night of the week.  I was raised on processed convenient foods and I just can't keep it up everyday.  I've come A LONG way since having Rita Clare but am baffled by those who can.  I simply can't manage all of life's demands AND get dinner served every night.  Somedays, I literally have a child on or next to me all day.  Sure I can manage some dinner preparations with them.  But often, I'm chopping veggies with a child either wanting to eat something in the kitchen, wanting to constantly help (which is actually fun when I'm in the right mindset), or to be held (wearing as a backpack doesn't always work).  Then there's the challenge of feeding both kids whom may or may not want to eat what I've prepared, and the clean up effort.  I'm exhausted just thinking about all that. SO, you'll find me a kid's night at Moe's and often at Earth Fare's kids night.  I'm not proud nor am I hiding.  I embrace having a day off or two from cooking, so I can focus on other important things in our lives too.  Accepting it frees me from mama guilt, which cripples me and brings in unnecessary anxiety/stress.  Do I think I can do better?  You betcha!

Cheers to all of you mamas who have it together today,

Jen   :) 

Jen Starks, Owner 850.284.5887


Melissa said...

Love the personal/business combo blog!

I haven't gotten to no shaving yet, but I've certainly changed my hygiene habits drastically since becoming a mom and realizing I have a more natural mindset. I say GO FOR IT!!!

princess granola said...

we are totally meant to be friends. i'm glad you're in my life. :)

i just succumbed to the shaving process again. it was so long and beautiful but my preconceived notion of societal pressure wore me down with this warm, shorts weather.

plus, grant was kind of freaked.

i with i could get to a place of confidence where i could embrace that granola part of myself and not feel self-conscious.

do you feel the need to be extra feminine when you're not shaving? i do. it makes me want to show people that yeah my legs are hairy but i'm still girl.

and now that you've done it i think i'll blog about it too. :)

Anonymous said...

Em-I'll raise a glass to that! :o)

Anonymous said...

Melissa- Here's the thing. I USED to think it was a hygiene issue but now I know I can be clean AND unshaven. Now when I see women unshaved, I don't necessarily question their hygiene. BUT I completely agree about having a lack of time & priorities changing and letting things go. I think that is where it all started for me.

Claire said...

I shave various locations not because of societal pressure (I really and truly don't care), but because I just prefer the way it looks and feels. I like having smooth legs, hair-free underarms, and trimmed/shaved placesthatshallnotbenamed.

I have serious trouble with ingrown hairs, and the longer it gets the worse it is. I mean, big, painful nasty infected bumps. No fun. It seems to run in my family, because my sister and my mom have also confessed to giant sores from letting the pits and nether-regions go too long. So, I shave. I know that sounds counter-intuitive, but it's the only thing that prevents them. I don't really mind it, because I'm used to it.

I have considered not shaving my legs, but like i said, I just like the smooth feel. I'm sure if I let it grow a lot it would get smooth, but I can't stand that prickly in between.

Rebecca said...

love the new blog! i just shaved my legs after letting it go all winter. but the pits, i have continued to shave:)

Halle said...

Confession 1: screw 'em and let it grow! I grew up in a hippie community and most of the women were unshaven. They have always been beautiful and goddess-like to me.

Confession 2: Are there really moms who prepare a fresh meal every night?! ;) I totally feel you on this one. Hubby has done most of the cooking throughout out marriage and I am slowly but surely gaining confidence in the kitchen and trying to enjoy it. Enjoy your Moe's night! You deserve it!

Anonymous said...

Halle- You are a very lucky woman! And yes, I have friends who do cook every night but I doubt most families do. Thanks for the support :o)

Lisa said...

Jen, congrats on this new direction! As someone who has spent years fighting with it, I urge you tlet that Mommy Guilt go! You won't miss it, I PROMISE. A mom is better for her family when she is not frazzled, and if eating Moe's once a week (which isn't that bad, by the way) keeps you from being frazzled, then what of it? Modern life is more complicated than life used to be, and unlike our counterparts in the olden days we do not have (1) the luxury of only keeping house (even a pure SAHM now is also a chauffeur, shopper, spiritual consultant, accountant, secretary, nurse, etc.) or (2) servants. Middle class people at least had a cook and maid back in the day. Now? Moms are just supposed to do it all.

These days I am thinking of it as teaching my daughter how not to be too hard on herself, since that is a trait that has been passed down through my family and I am done with it. Norah needs to know how to laugh it off and eat takeout sometimes. :)

Anonymous said...

Lisa-Well said! I had never thought about it as an exemplary situation for Rita Clare.

Lisa said...

That's what motivates me when I am playing the "Is this really important to anyone but me" game in my mind, as in, does it matter if I take time to myself this week? Yes, because Norah has to know that a mom can do that.

Tanashia said...

Love your new blog! LOVE your honesty....made me feel better.