These past couple weeks have been tough for me. It had become quite apparent that the preschool my 4 y.o. daughter was attending (montessori) wasn't panning out. She is high spirited and her teachers kept writing me notes about another "incident" that was happening. Without going into all the details that only bring up resentments, the breaking point occurred last Tuesday when I was notified that Rita Clare was being "terminated" from school for failure to progress in the direction she needed to be going. I have until the end of the month to set a new plan up in motion.
While she's in school, I have been using these couple hours to work from home without the struggle of managing kids in the background. During this time frame, my 2 year old son is napping. It has been really nice to have this carved out time in the middle of the day. Now what??
I've been dappling in homeschooling, joining a gym with child care, hiring a babysitter to consistently help out, other child care centers that will take kids after a semester has begun, etc. I don't have everything figured out just yet, but I'm starting to feel a plan emerging.
During my many panicky moments, I have come back to my journal. It is a space I can say anything and let it all out. I can come up with lofty goals and feel a sense of direction. It's a spiritual space, much like prayer or meditation. It's always my hope that I will continue to journal regularly. But usually I come to it when I'm overwhelmed and need to purge my emotions. It's funny to read through my past journal entries as they are often similar in their theme and take me back to certain events.
Do you journal? How has it impacted you?
Working on peace,
Jen
Jen Starks, Owner www.ecologicalbabies.com ecologicalbabies@gmail.com 574.275.1235
3 comments:
I have always randomly journaled..since I was a kid. And I still have them all. I have never finished an entire book before moving on to another.
Mine are mostly from right before I go to sleep and need to pour out my head so I can sleep. And most are from periods in my life that were high stress or confusing.
Diane Keaton was on NPR's City Arts and Lectures yesterday talking about her new book in which she talked about her mom and reading all of her mom's journals. Her talking about how much she loved reading the intimate parts of her mother's thoughts helped me realize how important these records and journals are for my daughter when I'm gone!
I too tend to journal only when stressed and I think a lot of people do that. I am actively trying to be more positive not only in my overall attitude towards life but in my reflecting on my life so my child and her children can read about the good and the bad! It's hard but I never regret it when I sit down for 30 minutes to talk about how amazing my day was :)
When journaling becomes more of a habit, I want to venture into art journaling! http://www.shopredvelvet.com/collections/e-course/products/art-journal-all-year-e-course
And I'm so sorry to hear R.C. is having a rough transition period in her schooling. I really hope the school didn't use the word "terminated". It sounds like they were rather insensitve about the issue and I'm so sorry! I will keep you guys in our thoughts in hopes that you find the perfect fit for that sweet girl.
I have a box full of journals I have kept since I was in kindergarten. I remember asking for a diary for my birthday when I turned 5 and I have kept one ever since. I also usually turn to it when I am feeling down and out, although lately it has been hard even to write in the journal. Sometimes for me the physical act of writing slows me down to a meditative state where I can see my situation differently. It is different from typing because it is slower.
I can't imagine why anyone would not be delighted to have RC at school. That sounds really ridiculous. I hope you don't take it to heart.
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